Heart's Final Regret
by Rose Garden Twilight
Summary: He told her he would wait till she was ready to move forward. But as the years passed he had to move on. Because he was always ready, but she never was. Angsty Rucas Two Shot
1. Chapter 1

**A.N.- So I pushed this out because this idea has literally been in my head for like a month now. This is angst Rucas so that is your warning. I'll try and do a fluffy piece this week to even everything out. Italics are flashbacks. They are in in their early/mid twenties when this takes place.**

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The summer rain poured down from the sky cleansing the earth below. Riley's hands brushed over the photo album before her that had seen a fair share of years. Tears threatening to fall over down her cheeks. They looked so happy. Her mind played with the what ifs of life of scenarios where their life could have been different, but it just left sadness when the images faded in her mind. His touch, secrets whispered between them, and stolen glances, where did it go wrong? But she didn't need a reminder, because she already knew.

He was always ready to move forward with her, but she never was. Her cat Meeko jumped down on the ground running the course of its body back and forth trying to provide comfort. Riley's hand dropped the photograph in in attempts to find the cat.

She should have rid herself of all these reminders before today, the love letters, hopes and dreams, the yellow folder with a faded Lucas & Riley 4 ever etched among the tattered sides. She never could bring herself because she was always a dreamer. She dreamed that he would come back, that they belonged together. But it was never the right time, all of her previous boyfriends with bright green eyes, so she could never escae him, at points she would close her eyes and pretend that it was him holding her during the late hours of the night. His touch was something that could never wash away.

She heard a knock on her door; probably Maya, she assumed. Maya knew the significance of today, on the way to the door her arm shifted papers that fell to the floor. She froze as one paper out of all that hit the floor.

 _You are cordially invited to the wedding of  
Susan Anne Darling & Lucas Matthew Friar_

 _On June 4_ _th_ _2019_

Her breath got caught in her throat, her body was petrified as another memory played its way through her mind.

 _The lovers had their lips attached as their hands explored each other's body as if this was the first time. They had gotten to a point where they couldn't deny each other, but every time Lucas brought up what they were, the mood was broken and Riley would leave him on the bed. Lucas needed Riley tonight, so he refrained from mentioning it if that meant that he got her. Because to him it would always be_ _ **her**_ _._

" _Riley," his voice jagged as Riley focused all her attention at the base of his neck, Lucas found he had to close his eyes to focus, but her perfume was clouding his mind._

" _I love you," He didn't even mean to utter the words, they just slipped out of his lips. He felt her lips separate from his skin and he let out a sigh. Riley began to grab her clothes that were scattered across the floor._

" _Riley, we need to talk about this." The brunette avoided eye contact._

" _No Lucas, we don't." Her voice shaky because she couldn't bring herself to have this conversation; she wasn't ready. If they did become something then it was possible that she could lose him, and that was something that she couldn't afford._

" _Would you stop?!" He raised his voice. "Every time we hit this wall. I need to tell you how I feel Riley. I want to tell people that you're my girlfriend. I want you to bring you to Texas and have you meet my parents. I want to marry you one day, have kids and grow old together." She briefly stopped slipping on her left shoe balancing on one foot._

" _You agreed to this Lucas, no labels. Just me and you." She turned and headed towards the door, but his voice pierced through the room._

" _What if that's not enough anymore?" Riley closed her eyes feeling the cracks in her heart growing larger, but her insecurity was still larger._

" _It has to be." She heard Lucas let out a sigh._

" _I'll wait for you Riley. I'll be here whenever you're ready, I love you." With his words still hanging in the room she slipped out closing the door behind her. She felt her legs grow wobbly barely able to support her. A single stream of tears escaping from her eyes before the back of her hand pushed the tears and the feelings further down._

Riley's breaths became shorter as she felt her own throat closing in. Why were the memories this vivid after all these years? Why couldn't she put the Texan behind her, but deep down she knew the answer, it was because she still loved him.

Maya forced her way into the apartment after hearing the sobs of Riley Matthews. She sunk to the floor and wrapped her arms around her best friend trying her best to be there for her.

"Riley," She soothed as she ran her fingers through her hair. Her gaze scanned the room seeing all the photographs spread out across the coffee table and the wedding invitation on the floor.

"Riles, why are you doing this to yourself?" She wondered to herself out loud. The falling out of Riley and Lucas was far worse than anyone could have anticipated. They were treating the symptoms but the not the disease infecting their friendship. It got to the point where Lucas decided that he couldn't be hurt anymore and put space. The first week Riley hadn't come out of her room and hardly ate. The second week she attempted to go out but it was clear that she had lost her 'inner happy Riley'. Week three the Riley that was hanging out at the normal places was just a shell of what she used to be. Maya tried everything in her power to snap her back, but Maya feared that it was out of her control. She couldn't fix Riley, because in the end she just broke things.

"You know why Maya," She tried to push down the feelings lingering once more.

"Don't say it Riley."-

"I still love him." Her words were soft spoken. But what she wouldn't give to be able to say those words a couple years ago.

"I know," the blonde confessed and then let out a sigh.

"But you can't keep doing to yourself." She picked up the wedding invite and ripped it in half. Riley's eyes widened but she remained silent. The blonde stood to her feet and offered her best friend a hand who took it reluctantly.

"What are you doing Maya?" She recognized in that gleam in her eye. Maya went and grabbed a nearby box and held it out.

"You need closure, real closure." Riley took the box timidly confusion laced her face.

"I want you to get rid of it, all of it." Somehow Riley doubted that it was a suggestion. She placed the box on the nearby couch and picked up the memories scattered on the table and slowly placed in in the box. Each item was glanced over as she converted it to memory.

" _I can't." She said simply, Lucas just desperately hoping that he heard her wrong._

" _What?" Riley's eyes fell to the ground as she felt the lump in her throat growing larger. Why was this so hard for her?_

" _I can't be your girlfriend Lucas." His face fell dejectedly the cracks instilling deeper into his heart._

" _Why not?" He asked trying not to let the anger overwhelm him. The distance between them felt like it grew miles apart._

" _I-I don't know," was the easiest answer that she could come up with without explaining everything. How could she tell him that she couldn't lose him, and if they were together it was inevitable. There was a silence that settled between them as Lucas's features grew stone cold. He was becoming more interested in his shoes. He took a deep breath before breaking the it._

" _I can't do this Riley." His voice became shaky and Riley's brown eyes pierced his green ones._

" _What do you mean Lucas?"_

" _You have made a decision, and now so have I." He paused as he ran his hand through his hair trying to come up with the right words to say._

" _We can't be friends Riley, every time I'm around you…" He closed his eyes wondering if this was just as hard for her as it was for him._

" _I can't just be your friend, I love you too much, so I'm asking you. If you love me at all, please"- His words faded as the tears started gathering in both their eyes._

" _Lucas"- She felt her world growing dark, his face hardened as her tone gave it away. She couldn't love him like that. He couldn't stay here, her scent was intoxicating and he was afraid he would do something that he would regret. He couldn't bare the way she was looking at him, like he was a wounded puppy that she could take care of._

" _Goodbye Riley," he picked up the remaining pieces of his pride and turned his back on his princess. As she watched him walking away, her legs gave way sending her to the ground, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks._

" _I love you Lucas."_

"I'm going to take this and destroy it." She told her best friend. It was getting to the point that she was concerned for her, Lucas was moving on with his life, so should she. Riley deserved to be happy. Oddly enough she didn't argue with her with was a change of pace. Riley merely accepted it the fate of the memories.

"Come on, let's go to Topanga's." She offered a sympatric smile.

"I'll buy you some chocolate cake." It was the first glimpse of a smile that had been seen by Maya since Riley had received the wedding invitation. The two headed towards the door, Riley's gaze turned back to the room and everything seemed new somehow like this was the start of a new chapter. She turned off the lights and joined her best friend as they strolled down the familiar roads to her mother's bakery.

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The plates full of tempting cake was set on the table and the forks dug in bringing the chocolate to their lips. Riley closed her eyes as the flavors were melting on her palate. For a second she forgot about her broken heart and that today was the day that Lucas told her that he couldn't be near her anymore.

"So how are your classes going? Are you getting any more photography jobs?" The blonde asked determined to keep her distracted. Riley's lips stretched into a small smile.

"Everything is going according to plan. I should be able to graduate in the fall, then I can spend more time accepting more photography jobs till I figure out what comes next." To be completely honest with herself she had no idea what would come next. She was gaining more notice with her projects and receiving more projects to work on. She had to remember to thank Uncle Shawn for the camera that he gave her back in middle school, it turned out that she had a knack for it.

"Well with editing and photography talent, any newspaper would be lucky to have you." The compliments started to build up Riley's self-confidence.

"Thanks Maya, and if I get word from the couple that I sent my application to, you'll be one of the first ones to know." They exchanged smiles to each other as Maya wrapped her arms loosely around her in a hug. It seemed like things were finally starting to get back to normal.

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Lucas's pace slowed as all the memories started to flood his mind with the familiar sights, smells and streets. He saw out of the corner of his eye a sign for Topanga's. The brunette's face that caused his heart to break over and over again flashed in his mind. He could close his eyes and instantly hear her laugh and see her smile. His eyes fluttered open again wanting to push the memories of Riley down; just thinking of her would cause his bruised heart to start to flutter.

The building looked different than he remembered, but it changed with the times in order to keep up with the competition that sprung up down the street. He ventured towards the window and felt his breath hitch seeing Riley and Maya sitting at a booth inside. He wanted to run in and talk to her, but he couldn't bring himself to move. He missed her, but he knew he was just fooling himself to think that he could have a life without Riley Matthews in it. She had affected his life too much in order for him to push her out completely. He had a photograph of them that he kept in his drawer that he would pull out every now and then just to remember her and wonder if she missed him as much as he missed her.

She looked good, time aged her well. He would say he couldn't remember the last time he saw her but that would be a lie. That conversation was ingrained in his mind and would always be, no matter how he tried to forget.

"Lucas!" The sound of a women giggling filled the air. He turned his attention to the brunette that had come back to retrieve him.

"Come on Lucas, we're going to miss the movie." She wrapped her arm looping it through his and planting a kiss on his lips; Lucas half smiled down at his fiancé.

"We wouldn't want that, now would we?" But as they started walking his head turned back looking back at Topanga's wishing nothing more than to go back to the familiar memories and Riley.

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 **A.n.- The next part is Lucas focused and it goes in a little more detail, so no worries there, you'll get answers. Please review and let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2 The Strongest Shade of Red

**A.N.- Hopefully update two out of three. You guys are amazing, without further waiting, I provide Chapter two. Just so you guys know I'm expanding this so it will be a little longer than a two shot, and you'll see why when you get to the end. Italics are flashbacks. Watch out for the feels, it's strong in this chapter.**

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The light streamed in as the sun rose in the sky revealing the two bodies sprawled out on the bed tired from the previous night's activities. Lucas was the first one to awaken to the day and he ran his hands over his face trying to become more aware. His eyes shifted over to Susan's sleeping body. He felt a pang of guilt because after seeing Riley, he was determined to get her image out of his brain, and sleeping with her was another attempt that failed. He couldn't get the image of a happy Riley out of his mind as his heart sunk. She was happy without him, the idea made him sick. He thought his feelings for her would fade, but the second he saw her everything came flooding back to bringing back his progress to the start.

 _He wrapped his arm bringing her body closer to he smiled feeling her warmth. She looked just as beautiful asleep as she did awake and that was the moment that he realized just how deep he was in with his feelings for the girl. Her tussles of chestnut hair sprawled gracefully across the pillow, as she started to stir. Lucas kissed the back of her bare back in butterfly kisses as she realized a light moan. Her chocolate eyes fluttered opened as she turned towards him._

" _Hi," his eyes sparkled in delight._

" _Hey." She greeted still half asleep. Their minds both drifted to the previous night, it had developed so naturally between them over the years that they needed to have more._

" _Last night." Lucas began and Riley caught him off guard with a kiss in which she deepened as her body began to hover over his._

" _Was a memory that I will never forget." She finished when her lips released his. The smile that formed on the blonde's lips couldn't be wiped off for anything in the world in that moment. Riley bit her lip as her eyes flickered to Lucas's lips._

" _Hey Lucas," He started to run his knuckles up and down her arm._

" _Hmmm," his eyes glimmered._

" _Want to make another memory you won't forget?" She didn't have ask twice as his lips crashed into her._

Lucas leaned over and kissed the top of her head before writing her a note informing her that he was headed to the gym, grabbed his work out bag and was out the door hoping that the gym would be able to clear his head.

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"Lucas what's up with you?" Lucas shook up the words as he threw another punch to the bag. His earbuds in with not his usual music for working out, but today wasn't a normal day, he pictured all of his mistakes and failures as he punched. It was effecting his consistency and effective while punching. His grunts as he tried to push his strength within the punch.

"Dude." Zay shouted causing him to take a break, rehydrating and wiping the sweat breads that gathered on his forehead.

"What's your deal?"

"Nothing," the blonde growled not in the mood to talk about it. He ripped out an earbud clearly losing the motivation to continue his workout. He started walking away from Zay called out stopping Lucas in his tracks.

"It's her isn't?" Lucas couldn't turn and look at his best friend. The one that had stayed with him even with the slight separation of the group. His lack of answer was all Zay needed.

"It is, if it was a problem with Susan you would tell me," Lucas's body stiffened. He knew that his friend was right, but his pride prevented him from acknowledging it, because if he did that would mean he would come to terms of how much she still affected him.

"You're wrong," he snapped back refusing to let him see how much he was hurt.

"You can lie to me," he heard Zay sigh. "But don't lie to yourself." His mouth grew dry as his best friend brushed past him towards the locker room. He was going to follow when the songs shuffled as a familiar song started to play that wasn't supposed to be on his playlist, but as the words flooded through his ears bringing him back through his memories.

" _I don't dance Riley," Lucas protested to the girl whose lips smirked._

" _What about the dances that you went to Friar?" His heart skipped a beat when she called him by his last night. She was trying to get him go to the spring dance with him, and of course he would agree; after their little banter back and forth._

" _You mean in 8_ _th_ _grade?" She giggled and nodded._

" _I'm sorry Riley I hardly think jumping around and swaying back and forth count as dancing…" He trailed off watching her reaction._

" _Then we'll have to practice," He felt his heart skip a beat, did she just say what he thought she did._

" _What?"_

" _Come on Lucas, there's no need to be embarrassed. We're the only ones here." She grabbed his hand and placed it at her waist as she had her other hand in his. Lucas gulped as their bodies grew in close proximity of each other. All he could smell was her lavender body wash. His eyes attached to hers as they started to move their feet.  
"See Lucas, you can dance." Their bodies moving in time. "I'm going to spin out and then in. Make sure you catch me." _

" _I always have." He muttered under his breath. He spun her out which was the easy part, when she returned to him and her back was resting against the front of his body, it was too close for comfort. He was getting lost in her chocolate eyes until they flickered down to her lips. In one smooth motion he leaned his head to capture his lips in hers. The two stayed there enjoying each other's presence in the kiss._

Lucas shook his head bringing back to his reality, he quickly pressed next trying to push down the memories. Zay's words echoed in his mind as he headed to the locker room to shower and headed in the direction of his house. Really deep down he knew that it there was a difference between a house and a home, and that was where his heart was.

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Lucas looked over his shoulder to make sure that Susan busy cooking dinner before headed to his dresser drawer. The second draw was opened and all the clothes were pushed to the side to reveal a couple worn letters. He just couldn't let these go. He had gotten rid of most of them but there were these select few that he would take no matter where life took him. There was the first letter that Riley had ever send him, this was the letter that he revisited the most. He wished more than anything to go back to the times when everything was simple between them. The days when she looked at him like he was a hero and he could see the admiration in her eyes. That look made him feel like he could do anything in the world.

The second letter was the letter that Riley sent before her summer abroad, Lucas remembered that she had given it to him before she got on the plane and told him not to open it till after she was gone. When he opened it, he understood. She had poured out her heart on the paper which is the first time he realized how deep her insecurity went, but he always thought he could make her realize that they would be ok.

The third letter, was the last letter that he had ever received from Riley, he hadn't opened it. He couldn't bring himself to. It was after he broke off his friendship with her, and he was terrified of what it might say. He picked up the letter with a sense of bravery. Their falling out hit both of them way too fast for either of them to respond. Maybe if he read what it said it would give him some peace, that she was better off without him; his heart sped up, or that she wasn't. He hadn't decided which was worse. His finger slid to the edge of the flap.

"Lucas," he looked up to his future wife smiling in the doorway.

"Dinner will be ready soon." She disappeared but it was enough to suck all the bravery out of his body. He placed the letter back in the drawer and let out a sigh. He closed his eyes, but all he saw was her. He pushed the image down and closed the door and returned to the kitchen.

* * *

"I'll do the dishes," Lucas said as he pecked her cheek grabbing the plates taking them to the sink.

"How was your day? It feels like I didn't see you all day?" She shouted as she ran to the room to grab something.

"Oh you know, I had a work out then I manage to catch up with Zay. He was filling me in on married life with Vanessa." Their voices carried across the small apartment. Susan's steps slowed after grabbing her purse, and saw that his drawer cracked. Curiosity got the better of her as she sauntered over to the drawer. She had seen Lucas with a stack of papers earlier and assumed it had to do his parents hinting at their wedding gift, and she couldn't help but dig through the drawers. Her fingers traced the envelope as her eyes scanned the front. The papers were worn he must have kept them for a while. The first two just had just Lucas's name in a fancy script written on it. The last one was sent in like a letter, she noted the name in the top corner; Riley Matthews. She flipped it over to find it unopened.

"Susan?" She had been silent in the room for quite some time he was starting to get worried. He rounded the corner. Susan was on her bed reading, as he got closer her realized exactly what she was reading; Riley's letter. The one he had lost courage to read.

"Susan?" He asked timidly. She didn't answer at first, which worried him.

"How long?" Her voice turned stone cold.

"Susan, it's not"-

"I said how long!" She screamed throwing the nearest object towards his feet.

"You had no right to go through my things," his voice grew in intensity.

"I'm your fiancé Lucas! Obviously this girl still has feelings for you, and you kept the letters what does that mean?"

"Nothing!" He tried his best to convince her but he was half way trying to convince himself.

"I don't believe you." She hissed. He couldn't stand being attacked in his own home, his anger took over.

"I don't have to deal with this," He threw his hands up in the air and headed to the door grabbing his coat. She followed to the doorway of his bedroom.

"Where are you going?" She demanded.

"Out." Then slammed the front door. His anger was flowing through him, he had to unclenched his fists. He needed he take a walk to clear his head, maybe if he walked long enough it would help clear his head.

* * *

 _The room was crowded everyone gathering around to see all of the senior paint projects that represented all that they learned that year. Lucas placed his hand on her shoulder blade helping Riley navigate through the crowd. Riley was having trouble focusing on any of the paintings with the smell of Lucas's cologne filling her senses. They were here to support her best friend with her final project. Riley remembered all the praises that Maya gushed that the teacher had given her. She half smiled happy for her best friend. A painting caught her eye as they were headed to Maya's exhibit._

 _Lucas's body ran into hers as Riley stopped as the painting was drawing her in. There wasn't anything that was special about the painting, it was a girl walking among the buildings of New York with a black umbrella shielding them from the rain. The women in the painting was wearing a red trench coat which was the only color within the painting._

" _Riles?" Lucas questioned softly. He watched as she ventured closer to the painting, the lady in the red trench coat capturing her full attention._

" _Maya is expecting us," but the words fell against deaf ears. Riley turned towards him her brown eyes piercing his green ones._

" _What do you see?" She needed to know what he saw; didn't he see the stories that this painting told? Lucas searched her eyes not understanding the question that she was asking._

" _I see a lady walking in rain in New York." He answered simply to which Riley just shook her head confusing the boy._

" _No Lucas, I mean what do you see?" She stressed the last word as if there was something that he was missing._

Lucas's brows furrowed still confused by her question, she never answered to what she saw. He tried again, but the answer wasn't what she was looking for. She sighed and told him that they should head to Maya's exhibit. He hated how disappointed her face looked, but he didn't know what answer she was looking for. He took another drink trying to drown the memories of Riley and the fight with Susan. That fight was one of their more intense ones, they just needed space to sort everything out and then everything will be back to normal.

Zay's words echoed back in his head as the liquid rolled down his throat. He was playing the part of the fool in this. Riley Matthews would always be his drug of choice, if only he knew that when he first met her. He would have wasted time with her, especially if he knew how their story would end. He used to think that they were on the same page, but as things turned out they weren't in the same book.

"I'll have a dirty martini," his body froze as the voice that plagued his dreams was right next to him. She couldn't be there, but then his senses picked up on the lavender smell of her body wash and he closed his eyes taking it in for only just a second. He turned his head as she didn't notice his presence just yet.

"Riley?" He was able to mask the shakiness in his voice, he watched as realization wash over her face. She turned her head and their eyes locked instantly.

"Lucas?" She felt her breath hitch.

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 **A.n.- So don't kill me. Let me know what you think. Review, Fav, follow. I have the best readers ever. The next chapters should be really interesting.**

 **-RGT-**


	3. Chapter 3 For me, that was you

**A.n.- Back with another update. Two more and then this story draws to a close. This chapter is dedicated to my writer friends who make me smile on a daily basis. Warning things become a little steamy, but it's still T.**

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There was some dead silence in the air between them as they were both searching for the right words to say.

"Hi," Lucas finally settled on, his brain not being able to focus on anything other than how beautiful she looked.

"Hey," She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hey," he finished for old name sake. Their eyes were memorizing each other's as the whole world seemed to fade away.

"What are you doing here?" She asked picking up her drink and taking a sip.

"I had a fight with Susan." He confessed and turned his gaze back to his own drink failing to see Riley's eyes widened urging him to continue, he took a shot before continuing; his voice filling the void.

"Do you ever feel like, you just missed something Riley, like the whole universe was conspiring against you?" He felt his body constrict at the sight of her in the black dress. He was having hard time breathing at her in the sight of that. The silence settled between them.

"Sometimes," she said softly. "But the universe has a way of bringing back around missed opportunities." She was surprised that they could act so civil considering the last time they saw each other even their friendship fell on stony ground. Lucas smiled and she felt her knees go weak, how could he still have this effect on her after all these years.

"I thought our story was epic you know?"

"Epic how?" Her brows knitted together in confusion. Lucas took another drink and sighed.

"Spanning years and continents, lives ruined, a knight and his princess, epic." He started to realize that he was getting carried away as his hands started to play with the glass in front of him

"But the night is almost over and then we won't see each other. Then you'll leave and find some other prince with a whiter horse than mine." Her eyes never left his figure, she was confused at what he was saying. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? That he missed her and still had the feelings for her. Why else would he bring up other guys that she was seeing.

"Lucas"- She ran her hand through her hair now starting to get frustrated. She had spent the last couple days deleting everything that reminded her of him and now he was coming back into her life at least for this one night. She feared that she would lose all the progress she had made, but one look into those green eyes and she melted into a puddle.

"Come on, do you really think a relationship should be that hard" She said trying to get his attention off of her, He couldn't still be hung up over their relationship, or lack there one of. Otherwise he wouldn't have proposed to another girl.

"No one writes stories about the ones that come easy." She felt her breath being sucked out of her body by the way he was staring at her. It was like the day that they had their first date on the subway. Her lips quivered as she tried to figure out what to say but her mind drew blank all she could focus on was his emerald eyes. His head started to lean in making her heart beat fast and the millions of butterflies in her stomach start flying around. They shouldn't, but when he got close enough and she smelled his cologne her eyes fluttered shut as his lips connected with hers. His hand cupped her face as she opened her mouth to grant him more access. They rested their foreheads against each other's as they took in the much needed air.

"Riley," He breathed out as she believed that he was almost as shaken as she was from that kiss.

"Not here." She whispered.

The door swung as the two adults were lost in their own littler world. Lucas pulled her against the wall deepening the kiss, and Riley letting him. It was almost if both parties were taking all their pent up frustration mixed with their feelings for each other and focusing it the present. She had never seen him this aggressive before as his lips were attacking hers. Her heart leapt because this was what she was craving. She closed her eyes as he worked his way down to her neck. The sound of a cellphone going off broke her of the trance she pulled away.

"Don't answer," he pleased but she had retreated to the other side of the room and answered the call.

"Elliot, what do you want?" Lucas's blood began to boil as her attention was suddenly wrapped up in her ex-boyfriend. It was then that he had an idea. He laid his hands on her hips as his body drew closer to hers. He heard her breath hitch before trying to focus on her conversation; his lips playing a smirk. He leaned in and started nibbling on her earlobe. Riley rolled her eyes back, he wasn't playing fair; he knew that turned her on. Her heard started to spin as his smell was overwhelming her. A small moan escaped her lips.

"Riley are you ok?" Elliott asked concern filling his voice.

"Yeah," She answered her voice shaky at best. Lucas hushed her in his ear, he loved seeing that he still had this effect over her.

"Keep talking," He urged in a low husky voice. Riley was now very aware of his lips attached to her neck it was like his kisses were fire, Elliott's voice brought her back.

"What?" She answered in a daze. Lucas brought her hips back flush against him, she needed to how much he needed her; his drug of choice. He heard her gasp and smirked into his next kiss. Riley was unable to hold a decent conversation with Elliot. Lucas grabbed the phone from her hand and slowly closed it hanging up on him. She pulled away and faced the man whose green eyes haunted her dreams. From their talk at the bar it sounded like things weren't going well with his fiancé, maybe he couldn't get her out of his head too. She pushed down any other thoughts except for the primal ones rising in her mind. She always overthought everything, this time she just needed to feel something, she had been numb for far too long.

"Make love to me," His meadow eyes bore into hers as his lips locked in a searing kiss. He lowered her onto her couch, her dress finding the floor rather quickly. Her fingers found the edge of his shirt and grabbed it desperately pulling it over his head. Her touch was like wild fire across his bare skin. The once forgotten cell phone's sound once again fill the air.

"Forget it," she urged too distracted with the things his hands started mapping out her body.

"Riley." He moaned which was music to her ears as well. She grabbed the rim of his pants and started to unbuckle them. Rational Riley was long gone, if she was still there, she was have reminded her that she couldn't do this; to be the "other women". He laid kisses down her body till he reached right below her belly button. Their eyes reconnected as if to ask permission to go further.

The door suddenly opened to reveal Maya who was unaware of the two lovers current state.

"Riley I"- She stopped mid-sentence when she saw the half-naked adults on the couch. Riley jumped up and grabbed something to cover herself slightly ashamed.

"Lucas, I think it's best if you go." Her voice was dark her eyes narrowed on her best friend.

"I need to talk to my best friend."

"But Maya"-

"Now Lucas." Lucas didn't want to be caught in the crossfires of the friends so he grabbed his shirt threw it on and left, but not before he took one last look at Riley. The second he closed the door she whipped her focus back on Riley who had grabbed something larger to cover herself with.

"What the hell was that Riley?" Maya exclaimed motioning to where Lucas had just left.

"You should have knocked," She replied coldly. Riley didn't like that she was starting to feel attacked, and she certainly didn't like what Maya's tone was implying.

"That's the problem in what just happened here?" Maya raised her voice, anger starting to take over.

"Did you trip and fall and forget the fact that Lucas was getting **married**? Because I find that detail rather important."

"He's not happy with her!" The brunette tried to justify.

"When did he tell you that? When he had his tongue stuffed down your throat?"

"Maya you don't know what's going on!"

"And you do Riley?" Maya threw up her hands in the air in exasperation.

"When has it been good to compromise your morals for love? Are you ok with being the "other women"?" Her piercing blue eyes stared at her best friend anxious for an answer. She watched as regret slowly crept onto her face. Riley's knees gave way as she sunk onto the couch. She had just assumed that Lucas would leave his fiancé, but did that make it ok? Tears started forming and falling uncontrollably as any anger left the blonde. She sat down in and pulled Riley's body close offering support. She tried to calm her by running her fingers through the chestnut hair as she cooed her.

"Oh my "- Riley's trembling hand flew up to her mouth.

"Lucas and I almost had"- Her voice faded, she couldn't even finish her sentence. If she was responsible for breaking them up, then she didn't know what she would do. She feared that guilt would plague her long after the memories would.

"What's wrong with me Peaches?" She was desperate for a response. What drove her to this point in life? It felt like her soul was being sucked out of her leaving behind an empty shell. The blonde tilted her head to the side observing her best friend.

"Nothing's wrong with you Riles," She paused trying to find the words.

"You just got a little bit lost, that's all."

* * *

Lucas ran his hand over his face and through his hair as he stood outside the door to the apartment. He was having some doubts before Riley entered the picture but now, after he almost made love to Riley, he need what he needed to do. He opened the door to see Susan sitting quietly at the table. Once the door opened their green eyes locked on to one another's.

"Lucas?" Her eyes had been slightly red; she had been crying at some point. He felt his gut twist.

"Susan," a lump instantly formed in his throat. "I have something to tell you." She positioned her body facing it solely to him giving him all her attention.

"Susan, I think we should call off the wedding," He closed his eyes waiting for her to explode, but it never came. The silence was drawn out between them.

"It's her isn't it?" She motioned to the letters on the table, the cause of her tears. He wanted to hurt her the least amount possible and that meant that he had to give her the truth.

"Yes," he breathed out. "It's always been her in a way." Riley's name would be etched on his heart paired with all the scars that Riley had placed there, but he was coming to realize that he wouldn't have it any other way.

"I kissed her," he confessed watching her facial reactions very carefully. He watched her breath hitch at the news. He was watching her heart break right in front of him.

"I'm sorry Susan, I really am." He knew that no amount of words would fix what he did. Her head fell, she refused to look him in the eye.

"It's fine, I-I'll pack my bags." She managed to say.

"Susan."- He tried to interject.

"No It's fine Lucas, you can't help who you love. I just thought that you loved me." She reached for her left hand and gently tugged off the ring and placed it on table.

"At least we figured it out now right?" He felt his heart wrench, he hated seeing the life seeping out her, and it was because of him. She stood up from the table and went and grabbed her purse, and head to the door. She turned back to him one last time.

"I hope she makes you happy Lucas, I truly do." She closed the door behind her and it felt like everything was falling apart. He sat down and his eyes wandered towards the letters sitting on the table. It would be so easy to reach other and read the words that Riley sent him all those years ago. He couldn't bring himself to move though, maybe he wasn't supposed to find out what was in the letters. He reached for them, but a knock as his door interrupted him.

Lucas cast his gaze towards the door and the next knock that came. He sighed and put the letters down on the table deciding that fate wasn't on his side. The knots in his stomach started to flare up, what if it was Riley? He still didn't have an explanation to what happened earlier besides the fact that it did. He was always drawn to her, and no matter what he did it seemed like she could never escape his thoughts. He walked opened to the door grabbed the handle and sighed. He swung open the door open and his smile immediately faded.

"Maya," His voice was surprised, but there were a thousand things that he would rather do than talk to the angry blonde at that moment. Her piercing blue eyes seemed to trap his body in fear and as he gulped.

"What are you doing here?" He needed to act kind at least, any misbehavior could be reported back to Riley. Things didn't tend to go well when they were left in a room; they fought often letting their emotions taking control.

"Is she here?" Maya's voice was dripping in venom. Lucas's eyes widened.

"Who?" The words came out even though he was scared of the answer.

"Your fiancé Lucas! The one that you made a promise to spend the rest of your lives together." Lucas shook his head keeping the information of calling off the wedding to himself. She didn't need to know those details yet.

"No, she's not." Maya barged right past him into his house as was here way. It brought a small smile to his face, somethings never change. The smile however faded rapidly when she spun on her heels to face him her intensity scaring him a little.

"If you thought this was a friendly visit Huckleberry, you're wrong." His mouth grew dry. He knew exactly what she was there for and he didn't know exactly what to tell the blonde. Surely he couldn't tell her that he was still in love with Riley after all these years. Maya crossed her arms over her chest giving off an aggressive vibe, but that didn't surprise him. He let out a sigh as he motioned to the table, offering her a seat. She looked at the chair before back at him and took the seat cautiously.

"Let me start at the beginning."

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 **A.n.- See this chapter wasn't so bad, I can't promise that for the next chapter though. Review and let me know what you think. Trying to get Hanging Tree updated tomorrow.**


	4. Chapter 4 Everyone Plays the Fool

**A.N.- So you all were demanding that I update this story so I live to serve. Not going to lie, emotional chapter to write compared to Twelve Nights. Break out your tissues. Italics are Flashbacks and THE letter respectfully.**

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The minutes seemed to fly by as the words came flowing out of his mouth explaining the situation to the blonde. He figured the only way to get her off his back is to tell her everything. At first her body language was anything but friendly; her arms were crossed across her body with her lips stained with disdain. He understood that she was being protective over Riley and he admired that, but he was the last thing that she needed to protect Riley from. He slid the first letter over the paper leaving a fire on his fingertips. How many times did he pour over the letter to find there was a time where she was his? He watched her piercing blue eyes pour over the letters trying to understand how her best friend got to this point. Her blue eyes jumped up after the minutes ticked by.

"I don't understand," she dropped the letter. Clearly Riley had left some details out between their conversations that they have late at night. Even after all this time he still remembered their rituals. Riley would call him almost every night, the only way that their phone conversations would end besides sleep claiming them is Maya would slip through the bay window.

Lucas wish he had an answer to give the blonde, all the hostility evaporated from her body. It was replaced with a bittersweet sadness. He handed her the second letter which she tore open more desperate for answers.

"Lucas, why did you keep these?" Her voice was shaky at best even her hands were experiencing slight tremors. Lucas couldn't bring himself to look at searching gaze.

"You know why." Maya slammed her hands on the table startling him.

"That's not good enough!" Her emotions bubbled over taking over.

"You should have fought for her. Do you know how many countless nights I've heard that girl cry herself to sleep? When you sent her the wedding invitation it nearly killed her." Her words stirred up the temper in the Texan.

"No Maya, you don't get to tell me that I didn't fight for her!" His temper flared with his nostrils as he copied her his body towering over her.

"I fought for time and time again and she"- He pointed to the door as if Riley was standing right outside.

"I was always waiting for her. I told her that I would wait till she was ready," he paused reaching into his wallet before dropping an old photo onto the table.

"But she never was." He finished the thought softly as if he was in thought. The blonde reached out her fingers grasping onto the memory. She remembered the day well that was captured in the moment. She was trying out a new camera, Shawn had let her use one of his cameras to practice with and she took Farkle, Lucas, and Riley out to a nearby park to try it out. It was at first fun group pictures but then Riley and Lucas had run off. She managed to find them when they were in their own little world and captured it on film. Lucas had found the pictures later and requested to get a couple prints to remember. The age had gotten to the photo but is remained intact. Her blue orbs connected to his green ones full of questions.

"You've kept this all this time?" Even though Lucas didn't respond, he didn't need to for Maya to get her answer.

 _"Lucas! Put me down." She yelled in giddy; the laughter echoing in their surroundings. Lucas's strong arms wrapped around her as her feet gently hit the ground. She grinned at the blonde who equally enjoyed their encounter. They had gotten closer than in middle school and really supported each other through the first two years of high school. They had their moments of an unofficial thing glimmered where their emotions for each other leaked through the crack. Lucas sat down in a patch of flowers and Riley joined him using him to support herself. His fingers began to absent mindlessly playing with her hair. Riley ranked it up there with Lucas hugs and long conversations. She closed her eyes and everything else seemed to fade although there was something lingering in her mind._ _  
_ _"College is coming up soon." After he didn't answer for a minute she opened one eye._ _  
_ _"We have two years Riley. We have time." His answer wasn't to her satisfaction because she sat up from his lap and looked at him._ _  
_ _"That's a short period of time Lucas, lots could happen. What if we get accepted into different colleges? What if"- he mind was swirling as Lucas put his hands on either side of her calming her. He had the effect on her. He pulled her so she sat between his legs resting her whole body on hers as he soothed her. His arms wrapped around her securing her as one of their hands laced together. He pressed his lips to the top of her head making her shutter._ _  
_ _"Live in the moment Riles. Nothing can happen that will separate us. Not distance, or time." His eyes captured her in a hypnotic gaze. "We will always have our conversations and each other, and that's all I need. So please stop acting like we're running out of time."_ _Riley was speechless at his confession; she didn't know what to say so she kept searching his eyes trying to find an answer. The words were lost between them as his eyes flickered down to her lips for only as second. He gave into the desire as his lips brushed against hers. Little did he know that Maya had camera in hand and froze the moment forever._

"Does she know?" Maya's voice snapped Lucas back from the sweet memory of a better time. If he only knew everything that would happen back then, maybe he would have acted differently back then.

"What?"

"Does Riley know?" Maya repeated more forcefully. If Lucas sat Riley down and had a conversation with her, a lot of things would fall into place; they were Lucas and Riley after all.

"I've sure she does, she's known for years, and after tonight"-

"Stop right it right there cowboy, I don't need to know those details. I don't want to puke up my dinner." He grinned at the statement knowing he could tease her more if he wanted to, but he just got back in the good graces of Maya, he didn't want to lose that again.

"So if these two are letters from Riley, then what is that one?" She pointed to the letter that was resting under Lucas's arm. It was almost as if he had been protecting it.

"What is what?" She saw right through his line. She waited till he had his guard down and snatched the letter from underneath his arm and jumped up from table.

"Ooh another letter. What does it say?" Her eyes grew wide as she teased knowing she was pushing his buttons.

"Maya give it back." He really wasn't in the mood to play games, especially not with her.

"What's the matter Lucas? What does it say?" She unfolded the letter fully intending to read it when Lucas stole the letter from out of her hands. The words unfolded in front of him as he was being drawn into it, like it was of his favorite books that he couldn't put down.

 _My Dearest Lucas,_

 _I was urged to write this letter by those around me and never send it, but the more I thought about it the more I came to the decision that you need to know the truth. So without consulting anyone, when I am finished pouring my soul onto the paper I decided to send it hoping it makes its way to you. It only makes sense for us to have honest communication with each other. If the damage is already done and there is no going back from the events that have taken place, then the folly is mine and I'll play the fool._

 _The truth, even if you don't accept it; out of the two of us, it is I that doesn't deserve you. You had been so patient with me over the years, but I didn't see it till now. I was never ready to move forward with us because I was paralyzed by the fear of never being able to unfold my hands and accept what life was gifting me. I caused you so much heartbreak over the years, and if I could take back my actions, I would; but unfortunately time is not so kind in the matter. You may never understand on why I did the things I did, and looking back I'm not sure what caused me to behave the way I did. I was scared of losing one of the best things that happened in my life, and in turn the fear is what made me lose you. What is done is done and now I must live with the consequences of my actions, even if it is a life without you._

 _Remember the night of Maya's art show and the painting that I was drawn to. I asked you what you saw. You saw a lady walking the streets of New York City, and it may have been on the surface, but there was so much more. The painting came alive to me and prompted more questions than I knew what to do with. Where was the women going? Was she meeting someone? My mind created a story that unfolded in my mind and made me feel something. It reminded me that through the circumstances in life to always turn back to love whether from family, friends, and significant others. Love is something too precious to waste in this life. So many people just go through life from point A to B without looking around, I don't want that for you._

 _I want you to have the fullest life, I want you to wake up in the morning and thank God that the sun got up and you could live life. Find someone you love in this life and don't let her go. I can handle losing you if I know that you are loved and happy, even if it's not by me. Extend your legacy, the world would be better with more Lucas Friar's in the world. You may not think so, but then you would only focus on your faults._  
 _When I see Lucas Friar I see a man that didn't think he made an impact on those around him; after all he was told he was a destructive force his whole life, but all he had to do was life his head and look around. In all reality he had embraced the lessons his teacher taught. He changed everyone around him for the better. I saw a man who I wanted nothing more to fall asleep to our conversations to every night because I felt like I could tell you anything and you would just listen, and if I were lucky enough, I would hear a Lucas story that would bring a smile to my lips for days._

 _I remember the last night I saw you, in fact it had been playing vividly in my mind for as long as I can remember. That night plagues my dreams in which I try to alter the ending, but I never seem to succeed. I fail to make you stay. It hurt that night, my words gutted me as I spoke them because they weren't true. I knew in that moment that I needed to let you go, because you deserve every happiness in your life and I was never in a position to give that to you, I always held you back through my insecurities. You needed to move on from the girl that fell into your lap in the subway. I knew as long as I was in your life we would forever be in this standstill; so I had to let you go._

 _I would be lying if I said that I hoped that you would come back to me someday. I know it's selfish of me, but I hope that the memories of our time together won't fade completely away. It could be like those memories that my parents talked about that we take out and visit every now and then. I know I will always look back at those times with fondness; the glances, stolen kisses, and the nights where we would stay up having those important conversations after giving our bodies to each other._

 _I know this letter might come at the worse time, but I knew that I needed to take the chance. You won't hear from me after this as I try and piece my life together without you in it. I wish you every happiness, chase love Lucas, if anything; chase that. I want you to experience it, even if it's not with me. Maybe if you live your life and if I live mine and fate brings us together, we can give it another shot, but until then, I will always be grateful for the time we had in each other's lives._

 _With all my heart,_

 _Riley_

"I have to go." His body was flustered which matched how his mind was swirling. All he could think about was Riley's words and how much I needed to speak to her. He tossed the letter onto the table and bolted out of the door.

"Go get her Huckleberry." Maya sighed as she reached out and picked up Riley's final letter and began to read.

* * *

As Riley began to prepare herself to sleep, the sound of a knock on her door grew louder till she couldn't ignore it. She paused for a moment and hesitated before opening the door; who would be here at this hour?

"Lucas?" She stuttered surprised at his presence when the door swung open to reveal her lover. What was he doing here? He looked out of breath almost as if he ran to her apartment. After everything that went down that night she was surprised that he had shown up. She was almost sure that Maya would have hunted him down and hid the body by now.

"What are you doing here?" The question was valid; he didn't have an answer for her. He rubbed the back of his neck slightly embarrassed, he had planned out to what to say the whole trip there, and when it came time and he saw her waiting for an answer; he drew a blank.

"Um, can I come in?" He asked timidly the confidence he had built up was fading.

"Sure," she replied almost as nervous as Lucas. She stepped back to allow him access to the apartment. Lucas chuckled when he saw the bay window, somethings never changed.

"Bay window?" He chuckled, trying to make light of what happened between them.

"Yeah," She grabbed her arms the insecurity showing through.

"Lucas, what are you doing here, it's best if you don't stay, we know what happened last time. Your fiancé wouldn't appreciat"-

"I called the wedding off," he didn't waste a minute. He watched as her face responded to the news.

"Wh-what?" Her fear was coming alive the damage was already done. She had single handedly ruined another person's happiness; she felt like she was going to be sick.

"No Lucas, this can't be because of me, you love her, go to her, you can still fix this." Her voice was almost on hysterics.

His brows narrowed at her ramblings, he was losing her and he could sense it. She was getting lost in her mind, and although Rileytown was a nice place to live, she had the potential to get lost in the dark side of Rileytown where her insecurity took over and prevented her happiness.

"No Riley," his voice was a little sterner than he intended, but it was necessary to bring her back.

"This was going to happen regardless, I loved her, but there is only one girl that I am in love with."

Here he was standing before saying all the right things. His eyes seem to sparkle with hope and she felt her hearts stop with his next words.

"I love you Riley Matthews, and it would make me a very happy man if you would be mine." Her eyebrows furrowed as everything that Maya had said ran through her head over and over. Here he was and fate had brought them back together after all this time. His smile wavered at her hesitation, surely he had done the right thing. He had done what he was supposed to do; put his heart on the line. Like Maya had told him at the sky lodge, 'tell her you love her, girls like that.'

"No Lucas, I can't."

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 **A.N.- *Hides*So the good news is that I won't make you wait months on end for the final chapter. Just breathe and trust me, ok?**


	5. Chapter 5 I Will Always Love You

**A.N.- First I wanted to say thank you to all for all your support. I can't tell you how many people messaged me asking if I would be finishing this story, so I give you the last chapter of Heart's Final Regret. I left you all on a cliff hanger last time so I'm sorry for that. Enjoy.**

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"No, I can't."

His whole world seemed to crash with those worlds and as he stood before her in complete shock. This was not how everything was supposed to turn out; she was supposed to say yes. Events leading up to this point would indicate a different answer confusion started to seep into his system. When had she fallen out of him. Had they been strangers long enough that he couldn't read her like an open book? Even worse thought entered his mind, how long were they on separate pages; books even and he could tell.

"What?" He managed to stutter hoping that he just heard her wrong.

"No, I can't Lucas." It was harder to repeat it a second time, she was almost afraid that even when saying it she would change her mind. She never would imagine that he would have done something this stupid, why would he break off his engagement for her.

"Can't or won't?" His voice wavered unsure if he really wanted to know the answer, here he was putting everything on the line again just to be shot down.

"Lucas," Her tone carried guilt, and he had enough that he dealt with that he didn't need this too.

"No, don't try and come up with an excuse I just need the truth; you can't be with me or you don't want to be?" To him the choice was clear, he just didn't know when everything fell apart. A couple days ago, she had seemed like she wanted them back together, what had changed?

"Maybe a little of both," She admitted quietly while he let out a sigh of frustration.

"Why do I feel like there's always a wall between us Riley?" It wasn't her intention to make him feel that way, it was the last thing that she wanted him to feel was used. No matter which answer she replied with some sort of feelings would be hurt because she didn't have an exact reason of why she couldn't be with him, everything else was a matter of opinion. She took a breath of courage and started to speak.

"It's not like that Lucas."

"Then talk to me Riley, we're still capable of that right?" She couldn't handle the way that his green eyes seemed to pierce her soul so Riley folded her hands in front of her resting in front of her.

"Of course we are." She almost felt like a little child being scolded.

"Then talk to me." He urged still not giving on the idea of them together. Riley tiled her head and followed a different approach.

"Lucas, do you think that we are meant together?"

"You know I do." He didn't waste a heartbeat.

"Then don't wait for me." Was this supposed to make him feel better?

"I don't understand."

"Lucas, you broke your engagement, and as much as I'm flattered, it can't be for me. So, live your life, and I'll live mine, and if these feelings are still there after a year, then maybe we could be together." At the word together, his eyes jumped up to meet hers.

"If you feel the same after a year, meet me at where fate brought us together again," She place her hand on his cheek.

"But I urge you don't just sit there and wait for me and live your life, you deserve happiness Lucas." She took the opportunity to kiss him on the cheek. It was soft and tender and lasted way too short a time, but she managed to pull away. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes but her resilience to stay strong persevered. Her back turned towards him and she began to walk away trying to block out the world around her even if that meant Lucas calling out her name behind her.

The first night was the hardest she decided the covers wrapped around her but it wasn't a substitute for Lucas's warm body she was sure would be lying beside her if this afternoon went differently. Her mind seemed not to shut off as the thoughts flooded her mind at a million miles per minute. Had she made the right choice? It didn't feel like it at this moment in time, but that feeling would pass she kept telling herself. Her eyes glanced to the phone as she bit her lip moment of vulnerability passing through, with one quick call she could undo all the damage that occurred earlier.

No

She refused to give in, this was the best thing, for both. Lucas needed time to get over his finance and she needed to figure out who she was before pursuing a relationship with him. They needed this time to take a break from each other. If they were meant to be together, then they would be together, she decided. She flipped away from the phone so it wouldn't be a distraction, but as her eyes eventually fluttered closed as she drifted off to sleep, the blonde with green eyes still plagued her dreams.

The summer was the easiest time passing, it was easy to keep busy. Riley took the opportunity to make a list of all the things that she wanted to do since she was young with full intent to complete. Maya helped her come up with ideas, and the longer the list got the more she had to admit, there was so much that she had left to experience in life. She managed to cross of three things off her list, she took a trip out of the state by herself to Vermont and visited the local tourist spots. With the support of Maya, she got a tattoo the behind her ear of Secret of Life. And lastly, she could conquer one of her fear of heights by going to the top of the Statue of Liberty. Her mini vacation ended when she had used her paid time off and she had to go back to work, but between that and volunteering she kept herself busy.

The Fall months proved more difficult than the season before, the allure of summer had passed and all that was left was the day's growing colder and still being alone. Maya had suggested speed dating to "get back out and not all fishes in the sea were Huckleberries", and she had agreed despite her insides screaming. She had met a boy with ice blue eyes and brown hair named Duke that seemed to sweep her off her feet. Whatever it was it didn't last long; it took her two months to realize that her whole heart wasn't in it. It was almost that her soul still longed to be with him, even if her mind rejected the idea.

Winter was hard to endure. She managed to distract her mind with the family festivities. She even witnessed Josh having enough courage to finally ask Maya out on a date. She was happy for them, but at times like these she found it harder and harder to smile. The List she had set out in December lay somewhere in her room almost forgotten, she had concluded that that it would be far more enjoyable to have someone to experience it with, so it seemed to bring her full circle. It was hard to forget the green-eyed man when everyone in her life kept bringing him up pushing her in attempts to be happy. The seed was planted and it brought more unwelcome dreams that made her think about him more. It had gotten to the point that her parents had noticed her behavior during the holiday dinner and Topanga had to have a sit-down talk making sure that she was ok. There wasn't much to tell her, so the conversation was short and left the mother feeling even more concerned. One night in a moment of vulnerability she texted him a text that simply stated 'Merry Christmas', and it seemed like days before he responded wishing her the same. Suddenly Riley wasn't nearly as excited for the year to pass by

The winter came and went and then it started to melt into the spring. symbolically Spring usually meant new beginnings, and she was wondering what this season meant for her. So many things had changed over the last year, she had gone new places, and experienced new things and people, but as she took off her shoes and collapsed on her couch she felt exhausted. The day was fast approaching of the date that she had planned so long ago. The question was she knew where she stood but did he fell the same way?

They had purposely cut out a large portion of their communication to help the process. He needed to find herself and so did he, that was the deal, right? She couldn't help but wonder if he would be at the bar let alone remember it was tomorrow.

Riley poured herself some wine because she had a feeling that she would need it to battle her own thoughts. Maya was one call away, but deep down she knew that talking to her friend about this wouldn't help any but rather stir up the jitters for tomorrow that already lingered in her stomach. She placed on a movie to get away from reality, and sipped her wine watching everything in front of her unfold. Her eyes grew heavy between the long sleepless nights and the alcohol seeping into her system.

Today was the day, and she didn't have a word to describe herself besides nervous. Her shoes were glued to the concrete legs almost paralyzed with fear. What would he look like, what if he changed over the last year; maybe too much? She had to push the thoughts further down, she couldn't dwell on that right now because if she did it might talk herself out of walking inside to see if he was inside. She took a breath realizing the nerves with the exhale.

The place was crowded, but it was a Saturday night so it wasn't a surprise, so much had even changed with their decorations. Riley was dressed in a deep purple sundress that seemed to hug her curves. She had dressed if Lucas would be there but in her mind, she wasn't sure. She shifted her weight to the other foot as she felt the eyes glancing at her. Riley didn't care nearly as much of that verses the fact that she still had to see Lucas. She rounded the corner and instantly felt her breath taken away.

There was a guy that was sitting at the bar, he looked like so much like Lucas it couldn't not be him. He was drinking Whiskey at the bar. So many questions flooded her mind to ask him, even if they were to talk all the night they would still talk more.

This was her moment, to go or not go. It was crazy that she was still questioning this, but she would like to believe that she didn't think that this would ever be an option. It was a certain fear that she had, a fear that she would never be loved. In the past, they had always been on separate pages when it came to their relationship, but this time it was different, maybe she was finally ready.

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 **A.N.- So yes the ending is vague but trust me this is the best ending. You can imagine that they end up happy or you can be twisted like me and imagine a different ending. I will be posting previews for my next stories tomorrow. Thank you for staying with me through this story and being the best readers ever.**


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